Snippets from the week

I haven't had time for my normal everyday posts for a few reasons. School, school, Pure Barre, school and life!

This past month I signed up for the 20 day challenge at Pure Barre - 20 days in 30 days. It's been really hard to keep up with my schedule and I've been exhausted every night due to it, but I'm happy to say I have 5 more days to go and I will have met the challenge.  I have already started to see changes and I feel really good. Tired, but good. I have been forcing myself to exercise at least 4 days a week and for the past 2 months, I've been doing just that. I have also been biking to work most days, which has also helped. Have I lost a pound, well, I've lost a measly 3! But, they say muscle is more dense than fat, or that fat is replaced by muscle and therefore the scale won't move but you will look thinner. Well, I want the scale to move OKAY. Is that so much to ask for, jeez!!  So, I like to think I've lost more, but it's just all muscle baby! Ya! Sigh...not satisfied yet. I'm in this for the long run. So, I've accepted the fact that the changes I want to see are going to take a while and that I need to also watch the food I consume. Well, that's the harder part...but it's a work in progress.

That's my rant for today. Here are a few pix from the week, oh and it rained today :)

Beautiful masks I really considered buying - when my parents were visiting a few weekends ago...ok, so this isn't from this week! :D 

 Ghirardelli Chocolate Chip Cookies - see here for the recipe!

 Rocky and his usual antics

Something about this leaf reminded me of the cartoon 'The Land Before Time', from when I was small :)

 New candle holders my mom bought me :) I'm in love with them!

 Hello radishes :)

One Year Older

I know I haven't posted in a while and yes, you're complaints have been heard :D I've just been so busy and lazy and well...sorry :D

So yesterday was my birthday...and it was one of those birthdays that I really wanted to skip.  Turning 29 is not something you really want to celebrate, especially when you feel that you haven't gotten to where you want to be with life (I know people are rolling their eyes right now...it's all relative ok people...sheesh!).  All last week I was in this daze of denial about turning one year older, and when it actually hit me, I broke down crying.  So depressed and frustrated with myself and bla bla bla.  It's kind of pathetic I know.  Yes mother, I know, it's not the end of the world. Yes, I know...this is just the beginning of life...bla bla bla...you're going to tell me that when I'm in my 50s too, but when you remember turning 21 thinking, wow, you're such a grown up now, and then the years pass by and you're one year closer to being 30, it's just this weird horrible feeling.

Anyways, so I decided there was no point in feeling sorry for myself.  It's going to happen...just don't think about it and move on.  So about 2 weeks ago I decided, enough is enough.  I'm going to do something for me this year that I really want.  I've been so lazy about working out and I've been feeling so ucky in my own body, it's time to change.  So I've officially (I think I've done this, I've officially thing a few times and haven't stuck with it), but this time I'm dead serious.  I don't care how long it takes for me to look how I want, I'm going to eat healthier and exercise more and get TONER. I've been to Pure Barre every other day over the last few weeks, I've been eating salad for dinner, really holding back on the sweets (oh it's been so hard) and although I don't look any different (I ask my husband every night..."do I look thinner, do I look toner" he's so annoyed, haha :D)  but I feel better and I feel my muscles are tighter and as though my body is sucked in.  It's this weird feeling I can't explain.  I've tried to stick with pure barre before, but it was so hard with timing and then my injuries acting up that I kept getting lazy.  But, this time around, I'm more focused and really being careful with what I can and can't do.  I've also been squeezing in cardio time at the gym, so it's been really good.  

Yesterday I woke up feeling kinda whatever about my birthday and just decided I wouldn't think about it at all.  And it was actually nice.  I woke up to a lovely text from a friend, got a few ecards and phone calls from family, a stream of sweet texts from friends throughout the day, and most importantly a phone call from my little boyfriend (my husbands nephew who is 4) wishing me a happy birfday. His little sweet voice made my day and made me so happy, nothing else could spoil it.  The hubby surprised me with a night out that ended with a tea picnic at the beach (it's exactly what it sounds like) :D, and I got a lovely pair of pearl earrings (so spoiled!).  All in all, it was a lovely day (minus work and this stupid stats class I just had the urge to take...idiot!). So turning 29 hasn't been all that bad as long as I don't really think about it :D haha! 

I also realized while I was writing out the date on my agar plates in lab that I will only be 29 on April 29 once in my life.  Weird thought...but something worth celebrating :)

  

Yes, I had pizza last night.  So what :D  

I'll be having salad tonight...sigh.

Hubby surprised me with my favorite cupcake from Sprinkles - carrot cake.  I savored every last bit! It was so windy at the beach though, it was hard to keep the candle lit. 

Pure Barre Update

Well, there isn't much to update on.  I haven't lost a single pound.  I've been trying to eat better, cutting back on bread, but there has been no difference.  I've been trying to go as often as possible, but I just haven't had as much time as I liked.  Surprisingly (or not), not having enough time doesn't correlate with an increase in time put towards research.  You would think I would be more effective in my research, getting things to finally work, but that's not true.  Anyways, I finally made it to the gym yesterday to get in some cardio and it felt really good.  I used my new ipod touch (which is fabulous) and did about 35 minutes of cardio on the elliptical.  I was hoping to go to pure barre today, but again, NO TIME.  

Pure Barre Update

Day 26 of Pure Barre has passed and I'm feeling great!  Well that's not entirely true...haha.  Pure Barre is amazing, and I am slowly starting to see a difference in my legs, back and butt.  They are more toned and the hubby says thinner, although I don't see the thinner part just yet (I swear, he sees things that I never see...don't know what's up with that).  I do however have lots more energy, I can keep up with the exercises more easily (although they are still really hard) and I also feel a lot stronger overall.  I am also a lot closer to doing the splits than I ever have.  I have moments where I LOVE the class and moments where I HATE it...but I know its helping me and I know if I stick with it I will see the change I want to see.  I don't have any pain in my surgery areas (shoulder, feet) and my back also feels stronger post injury, so overall, this has been a really good thing.  I still hate the skinny, toned people that come into the class...God...why can't you go find somewhere else to be with all your free, rich time...geez.  I also really hate it when the occasional guy walks into the studio.  Really...go pump some weights at 24 hours and leave the hip tucking and thigh pumping for the women, geez!  I'm already self-conscious as it is...I don't need a guy with roaming eyes in the room to make it even more uncomfortable.

However,  my clothes still fit the same, and I am still frustrated that I haven't lost any weight (0 lbs) but I think a lot of that is my own fault. The stomach area is getting there at a much sloooooower rate too and its driving me nuts.  I don't know if this is normal, or if I am really doing something wrong.  Maybe it really takes a while to lose weight when you're starting to build muscle?  I don't know...but I do know I hate it.  I've also been too busy to really focus on eating well and cooking good meals and that might also be another factor. I get home so late and I'm so dead that all I want is to do is eat something quickly and crash on the couch. I haven't been eating chips, rice or any major junk food, but I eat a lot of bread.  I just get to darn hungry I can't think or function and bread is the only thing I want. I also haven't been putting in any cardio time.  Maybe that's another factor.  I don't know...but I am sticking with this and hoping I start to see a drastic change soon.  I think next month I'll sign up at a studio closer to home (not 20 min away), although I hate to change instructors since I have gotten used to them and the people and I'm starting to get more comfortable with my surroundings.

This Saturday I have signed up for a seat intensive 75 minute class (I had to pay an extra $30). I am looking forward to it, but I know it's going to be challenging.

I am hoping to put in 30-45 min of cardio today. I am also trying to cut back on the bread (aaaahhh!) and eat more salad.  Sigh...I hate this...why can't it just come off fast and NOW!  

Pure Barre

My Cool Toe Sox

As part of my Pure Barre ensemble, I finally decided that I needed toe socks with grips on the bottom of them.  For the past few weeks i've been wearing my normal socks and didn't think I really needed to spend $16 for a pair of socks just because of sticky grips.  I actually just couldn't bring myself to pay that much for a pair of socks.  But, as I've continued with the classes, certain positions are really hard to do when you're feet keep slipping, in particular bridges and planks.  So, the hubby got me 2 pairs of toe sox with grips (as I still couldn't bring myself to buy them).  One black and one purple (of course!)

I wore them today for the first time and they were great!! I should have gotten them sooner!

Pure Barre Studio

 The lovely bridges they make you hold for 3 minutes.  Oh...the burn...

Pure Barre Update

Today was day 12 of pure barre.  It has been very challenging both physically and emotionally.  I have never exercised so hard in my life.  I have been fighting with myself to continue this exercise regimen, not so much because its so hard but because I haven't been seeing any changes and everyone in the class is so toned and fit it's depressing.  According to what the teachers tell me, you should see a difference after just 8 visits.  I have yet to see a difference.  Okay, maybe my love handles look a bit smaller (or maybe its all in my head), but not the change I was expecting.  I know it takes time, but its so hard to keep my motivation when the class is so challenging and I'm always so sore. I do have to say though, my back feels stronger and hasn't been bothering me so much (well I haven't really tried to lift anything heavy which was what would trigger the pain, so maybe it's really not stronger).    

It has also been really hard to stick with exercising 5 days a week with all the work I have to do with school and research.  I sometimes feel so focused on my exercise that I get so tired and unmotivated to do anything else and it takes over all of my thoughts and it's all I can think about.  Pure Barre really wipes me out and I am always so tired and hungry.  Maybe it will take a while to build up the stamina, but this is killing me.  I feel as though I prioritize exercising over my research and that scares me too.  Maybe that's not a good thing, maybe I shouldn't be so focused on exercising so much and instead should be spending the time on reading, studying and working harder.  Maybe I shouldn't care so much about being fit, maybe I should focus on more important things in life.  All these thoughts keep racing through my head and it's killing me.

It didn't seem so hard to lose weight years ago, but I think as one gets older, it gets harder.  As I get closer to 30 (a very scary thought) I want to try to improve my health...but why is it so hard? What's worse is all the fit, skinny women (in their 30s and 40s) that prance around the room, doing the splits, making it look so easy.  It's so hard to focus on your pain and body when the person next to you makes it all look so painless and she's so fit it makes you sick.  The teachers are really helpful though and their motivational smiles really help when you are fighting with your mind to continue through the burn and shaking.

My mother is also on the path to losing weight.  In some ways her struggle with exercising and eating well motivates me.  I am hoping to lose 10-15 pounds and finally have the body that I really want.  Toned, fit and something that makes me smile when I look at myself in the mirror.  I want to get back to the weight I was before I got married.  Most of my friends don't notice that I've packed on the weight, I guess I carry it well, but I am uncomfortable in my own body and that's enough for me. I'm going to stick with this and I can only hope that it pays off.  I know it takes a while, and I have to keep reminding myself of that, but it's really hard.  It sucks and I hate it!  Here's to another 2 weeks (for my next update) of soreness and mental exhaustion.  Wish me luck!

Pure Barre

Today was my second day of Pure Barre.  I am still VERY sore from my first visit last Wednesday, so sore in fact, that I haven't slept well in the last few days.  Every time I wanted to turn in bed I would wake up in pain.  But, I pushed through the pain for class today.  I need to lose the pounds that have slowly piled on since school has started, so this pain better pay off!

The Bar Method was started by Lotte Berk, a ballet dancer whom, after an injury, mixed her ballet bar routine and rehab therapy to form a new, lower impact, exercise routine.  Pure Barre stems from the Bar Method.  They both seem to be great, but from my research Pure Barre seemed to be even better, and their facilities are closer to where I live.  The really great thing about the Pure Barre method is not only that it is low impact, so for those with LOTS of injuries like moi :D it's supposed to be great, but that their routine is performed with loud, heart thumping music that distracts me from all the pain.  It also mixes in techniques from ballet, pilates, weight training, aerobics and physical therapy, so its a FULL body workout.

It has been very hard for me to set up an exercise regime with my uber busy schedule.  I have also become very lazy over the past few years and I've slowly lost all motivation to work out.  Unless I pay for a membership to something, I won't do anything.  I have a free membership to my schools gym, but I don't feel comfortable there and when I start to workout, I stick to the elliptical and thats pretty much it.  I needed something more challenging that hits every inch of my body.  So, I've dished out a fortune and I've signed up for 1 month unlimited classes at Pure Barre.

Everyone has been really nice at the place I've signed up at and its all women which makes me feel even more comfortable.  So far, its been really great, but it has been very hard and very challenging (which is exactly what I wanted).  Lets see if there really is a change in the next month.  I have lots to work on.

New fit body...here we come! I hope!