So yesterday was my birthday...and it was one of those birthdays that I really wanted to skip. Turning 29 is not something you really want to celebrate, especially when you feel that you haven't gotten to where you want to be with life (I know people are rolling their eyes right now...it's all relative ok people...sheesh!). All last week I was in this daze of denial about turning one year older, and when it actually hit me, I broke down crying. So depressed and frustrated with myself and bla bla bla. It's kind of pathetic I know. Yes mother, I know, it's not the end of the world. Yes, I know...this is just the beginning of life...bla bla bla...you're going to tell me that when I'm in my 50s too, but when you remember turning 21 thinking, wow, you're such a grown up now, and then the years pass by and you're one year closer to being 30, it's just this weird horrible feeling.
Anyways, so I decided there was no point in feeling sorry for myself. It's going to happen...just don't think about it and move on. So about 2 weeks ago I decided, enough is enough. I'm going to do something for me this year that I really want. I've been so lazy about working out and I've been feeling so ucky in my own body, it's time to change. So I've officially (I think I've done this, I've officially thing a few times and haven't stuck with it), but this time I'm dead serious. I don't care how long it takes for me to look how I want, I'm going to eat healthier and exercise more and get TONER. I've been to Pure Barre every other day over the last few weeks, I've been eating salad for dinner, really holding back on the sweets (oh it's been so hard) and although I don't look any different (I ask my husband every night..."do I look thinner, do I look toner" he's so annoyed, haha :D) but I feel better and I feel my muscles are tighter and as though my body is sucked in. It's this weird feeling I can't explain. I've tried to stick with pure barre before, but it was so hard with timing and then my injuries acting up that I kept getting lazy. But, this time around, I'm more focused and really being careful with what I can and can't do. I've also been squeezing in cardio time at the gym, so it's been really good.
Yesterday I woke up feeling kinda whatever about my birthday and just decided I wouldn't think about it at all. And it was actually nice. I woke up to a lovely text from a friend, got a few ecards and phone calls from family, a stream of sweet texts from friends throughout the day, and most importantly a phone call from my little boyfriend (my husbands nephew who is 4) wishing me a happy birfday. His little sweet voice made my day and made me so happy, nothing else could spoil it. The hubby surprised me with a night out that ended with a tea picnic at the beach (it's exactly what it sounds like) :D, and I got a lovely pair of pearl earrings (so spoiled!). All in all, it was a lovely day (minus work and this stupid stats class I just had the urge to take...idiot!). So turning 29 hasn't been all that bad as long as I don't really think about it :D haha!
I also realized while I was writing out the date on my agar plates in lab that I will only be 29 on April 29 once in my life. Weird thought...but something worth celebrating :)
Yes, I had pizza last night. So what :D
I'll be having salad tonight...sigh.
Hubby surprised me with my favorite cupcake from Sprinkles - carrot cake. I savored every last bit! It was so windy at the beach though, it was hard to keep the candle lit.
Lovely entry!!! Happy B-day!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday dear Dehdee :) Sounds like a fun day! I remember feeling the same way on my bday, but I've been told it only gets better ;)
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